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Post by Mikhael Nadyezhda Kirsanov on Apr 15, 2005 19:58:47 GMT -5
This thread name is brought to you by Dylan.
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Post by Cambridge Brackenfield on Apr 16, 2005 2:18:07 GMT -5
"No problem. It's a good start. It just caught me off guard."
Cambridge calls down for a cot, and the staff person brings it up so Tom can stay as well.
"So you've really never been with anyone? I am not that experienced, but I've had a few strange friendship/relationships in my life."
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Post by Tom McLeod on Apr 16, 2005 2:25:12 GMT -5
"Yeah... When I was younger I never cared much about women. And now that I'm older I have a hard time relating with women... Maybe I just lack courage, I don't know..."
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Post by Cambridge Brackenfield on Apr 16, 2005 2:30:24 GMT -5
"It could be that you are a little shy." Cambridge says with a shrug.
"I wasn't interested much in relationships when I was younger. I was just kind of confused as to what I was and what I wanted. I didn't understand. I only had this vague sense that I didn't want to be a woman and that I was attracted to women. I'm still figuring things out."
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Post by Tom McLeod on Apr 16, 2005 2:33:37 GMT -5
"I've always known about your desire to not be a woman, but I never really understood it. One time I met a girl, but she sure didn't act like one. Hell, I think she was more masculine than her boyfriend. So I guess there's nothing wrong with wanting to be... different."
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Post by Cambridge Brackenfield on Apr 16, 2005 2:42:48 GMT -5
Cambridge smiles at the story.
"It's kind of hard to explain. But since gender is socialized, I really don't have to identify with the social norms of what a woman is. I just want to be a person. That's all. I want to be respected as a person, not as a female, not as anything but a human being. My sex is irrelevant."
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Post by Tom McLeod on Apr 16, 2005 2:46:01 GMT -5
"Well I guess that's true. You just have to be yourself. And what are social norms anyways? They were invented centuries ago and for no good reason."
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Post by Cambridge Brackenfield on Apr 16, 2005 2:50:17 GMT -5
"I don't think I could be "normal" to save my life. But whatever. That's life."
"I could tell you a lot of stories about my struggles being a woman. It really sucks you know. You're lucky to be a guy."
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Post by Tom McLeod on Apr 16, 2005 2:57:25 GMT -5
"Well you can if you want to. I've always been a little naive on those topics... Maybe you can help me to understand."
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Post by Cambridge Brackenfield on Apr 16, 2005 3:04:26 GMT -5
"It all started in about the 4th grade. We started having those special classes about "growing up'" if you get what I mean, and sitting there made me feel like I wanted to rebel against that process. So, I started starving myself. I thought I could starve away any sign of turning into a woman. I just didn't want it."
"No one really understood. My parents sure didn't. So they just ignored it... I was very thin. Sickly thin."
"I know this is an uncomfortable topic for you, since well you are a guy and all, but it is uncomfortable for me too, since well, I feel aloof from my sex."
"Anyway. I starved myself and didn't get my period until the 9th grade. After that. I continued to starve myself so that I wouldn't have it. So it went away. I never had it in high school."
"In college I got lazy and it came back. I just couldn't starve it away like I used to."
"So my whole life feels like a battle against the natural processes of my body. That's why I have the body I have. I am proud to look boyish. I like my small chest and hips. That took years of work."
Cambridge sighs.
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Post by Tom McLeod on Apr 16, 2005 3:07:02 GMT -5
"Well I think you're really cute, but you shouldn't starve yourself... Anyways if you don't, er, want to have your period... I think they make a pill for that..." I say very uncomfortably.
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Post by Cambridge Brackenfield on Apr 16, 2005 3:11:43 GMT -5
"Let's just not...talk about this." Sie says uncomfortably. The truth is sie has never seen the doctor about anything gender or sex related because it is too uncomfortable and embarassing for hir.
"There's just a lot of things that are hard for me. Even seeing the doctor because of all this. I don't want them...to examine me...I have this...fear of that." Sie says vaguely.
"Anyway, whoo...what a topic. Okay. Time to talk about something else. I sure like ...the color of the wall paper."
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Post by Tom McLeod on Apr 16, 2005 3:14:24 GMT -5
"Yeah, it is nice paper..." I say nervously. "Maybe we should talk about what we plan to do for the Movement. I kind of doubt either of us wants to do what we're doing now forever."
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Post by Cambridge Brackenfield on Apr 16, 2005 3:19:04 GMT -5
"I was thinking that maybe when I go back, I will start up a special group within our party of socialists who are transgendered, gay, lesbian, or bi. They wanted me to head a feminist group a while ago and I just wasn't up to it at the time. But, I think something like that would be good for the party."
"Otherwise, wow, I just want to be a good socialist. I just want to be the best socialist I can be. Know as much as I can. Do as much as I can. Live a revolutionary life."
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Post by Tom McLeod on Apr 16, 2005 3:24:45 GMT -5
"Well I just want to make a better world, for everyone... Sometimes I think that's impossible, because no one seems able to agree on anything, but we have to try."
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