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Post by Mikhael Nadyezhda Kirsanov on Jul 2, 2005 20:44:06 GMT -5
Fuck proboards, and fuck fireworks.
Grr.
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Post by Nea Jokinen on Jul 4, 2005 0:01:21 GMT -5
"Your not the only one. But I'm happy with my semi boring life. Its peaceful I enjoy the peacefulness," Nea says somewhat happy but then her expression changes. "I have dealt with case of depression most of my life. The doctors say its not severe but it is still pretty bad. I like the calm feeling, not having anything to worry about. I would not like to lead the life any of them have choosen. It would probably already have killed me. Not like something hasn't happened like that before." Nea's voice trailed off. She surprised herself somewhat by opening up like that. She hardly ever did that, maybe it was the security she felt around Antero.
((sry mo))
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Post by Dead Character on Jul 4, 2005 0:03:09 GMT -5
"I don't think I am depressed any more. I don't know what I am. Just frustrated. I just want more from life." Antero says as they walk out the door together. He feels angry, but being outdoors lightens his mood.
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Post by Nea Jokinen on Jul 4, 2005 0:05:00 GMT -5
"Its good not to be depressed. But the feeling that the depression will come back, its the worst in the world and I think about it nearly every day." Nea paused a minutes. "Ok then, think...what do you really want?"
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Post by Dead Character on Jul 4, 2005 0:07:42 GMT -5
"That's a good question. I want...I want an interesting life. I want adventure! I want cool things to happen." Antero says dreamily. "I want to be interesting." He says authoritatively. "I wouldn't care about being depressed if I was interesting."
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Post by Nea Jokinen on Jul 4, 2005 0:12:36 GMT -5
Nea nods her head. "Well I guess I have my work cut out. In that department I have no idea how to help you out, but just know that I'll worry about you a lot."
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Post by Dead Character on Jul 4, 2005 0:14:21 GMT -5
"Don't worry about me. I'll figure something out. I don't like when people worry about me. It makes me self concious." He says as they pass a park. They take a trail in the park and start walking slower.
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Post by Nea Jokinen on Jul 4, 2005 0:16:42 GMT -5
"Don't do that. And its quite normal for me actually. I worry, that's what I do, that's why I'm depressed all the time. I worry about the stupidest things and I worry over the people I barely know," Nea shrugged. "I've tried to stop but I can't. So I guess I just accept the fact."
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Gen. Vlad Kolov
Provisional Member
Operations director for ESA
%\1\%
Posts: 98
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Post by Gen. Vlad Kolov on Jul 4, 2005 0:21:19 GMT -5
"Yes. I would like you to go and track down your sister. She has been AWOL for the last three days. Her plane was cleared for landing in Moscow two days ago, perhaps you should start there."
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Post by Dead Character on Jul 4, 2005 0:23:38 GMT -5
"I am sorry that you worry and get depressed. Have you tried medications?" Antero asks as they walk. He sits down on a bench and looks at her, this time with compassion.
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Post by Seiji Usagi on Jul 4, 2005 0:27:27 GMT -5
Seiji blinks a few times and wipes his lips, pinching his bottom lip as a thought hooks him.
"As you wish, sir." He says in a calm and even tone.
"And is there anything you would like me to say to her once I find her?"
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Post by Nea Jokinen on Jul 4, 2005 0:27:50 GMT -5
"Dont be sorry its not your fault. Yeah I've done the whole medication deal. That was when I was 16 I was on someting called Zoloft for two years. I hated the person I became. I was always the crazy one with my friends. My mom forced me to take it, she said I lost my "I hate the world" attitude. Which I did and do. But after taking the medicine I became a little more withdrawn my my closest friends, I wasn't crazy like I had been before I just felt like a shell." Nea sighed and looked down at her hands. "After I turned 18 I stopped taking all my medication. Sure when I would go through my phases of depression they were a little worse then before but I wouldn't take the medicine. It fucked me up too much. The whole process of getting it in your system sucks. The whole thing sucks. But I feel I'm better off without it." her voice cracked a couple times and when she was done with lifted her head and tried to smile.
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Post by Dead Character on Jul 4, 2005 0:30:56 GMT -5
"I've never taken medication for depression. I've gone to counceling for it. I started on Lexapro or something like that, but didn't like it, so I stopped. I am bad about taking medications." Antero says. "So I guess we do have SOMETHING in common."
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Gen. Vlad Kolov
Provisional Member
Operations director for ESA
%\1\%
Posts: 98
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Post by Gen. Vlad Kolov on Jul 4, 2005 0:31:31 GMT -5
"Only that she is not to do so again." I say icily. "I'm certain you understand the conciquences of disobediance..."
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Post by Nea Jokinen on Jul 4, 2005 0:32:02 GMT -5
Nea laughed. "Is that good?"
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